Positive Thinking

I am not naturally the most positive person. That's kind of a hard thing to admit about oneself, but it's true. This is not to say that I have a gloomy disposition, I just tend to look at the glass as being almost full. I never really minded this about myself. I felt like it would be disingenuous to always claim 'happiness' even when circumstances were less than ideal, but lately (more specifically, since Charlie) I've started to be bothered by my lukewarm outlook. I have come to realize that a quality I genuinely admire in other people, is their positive perspective... It's a quality I would really love for Charlie to have. In acknowledging these truths, I have decided that even if it takes work, I am going to have to harness my own silver lining skills. At first this felt like an inauthentic ambition, but I think it's okay (even healthy) to admit that for some of us it takes more effort to see the good in the not so good.

Here are some ideas I am cultivating to combat negative thoughts.

1. Have you ever met someone who is a TRUE pessimist? The kind of person who only acknowledges what is wrong. I knew a guy like this in college; whenever my good friend and I (we were hardly optimists) ran into this gentleman on campus, we instantly turned into Suzy Sunshine. Our exchanges often went something like this:

GUY: This weather is miserable.
US: Isn't there something so cozy about a dark rainy day!
GUY: All of my professors are total jokes.
US: We have such a stimulating classes this semester!

You get the picture... So, whenever my internal monologue takes a wrong turn, I am going to think of that guy. I am going to pretend that my own diatribe is actually coming out of his mouth, which will hopefully rouse my inner optimist to point out the POSITIVES of such a scenario.

2. Write it down/get it out. I once read an account of someones experience in a mental institution; they recalled the only things in their room were an unmade bed, a blank notebook and a pen. Writing can be so therapeutic. Sometimes when I am truly frustrated someone, I write a letter I don't (really) plan on sending. Without fail, about half-way through I always realize how ridiculous my initial annoyance was, and that letter gets dragged to the (unsent) draft box.

3. MOVE. It's kind of amazing how the act of walking can clear my head. If I am ever really and truly grumpy, there is no better fix than this. At first my mind might be racing with stressful thoughts, but soon I'll be paying attention to my surroundings, the rhythm of my steps, and pretty soon I'll lose track of whatever it was that was bothering me.

Of course, this is not a fail proof plan, nor am I expecting (or suggesting) that I should suddenly become some sort of stoic who feels embarrassed by having an off day. Life is filled with off days, and being a new parent (amongst other things) can be particularly rocky--- it's comforting to know we aren't alone in those struggles. This effort is really just about trying to find a healthier balance between positive and negative, and to appreciate the small things I so easily forget to acknowledge. I'll keep you posted on how this little experiment unfolds.